I swear this is one of those ‘Which came first, Chicken or the Egg?‘ concepts. Where the answer is Neither, because they both arrived at the same time. Which on one hand is really cool and on the other… is freaking frustrating as all get out.
Okay, so here’s the deal. I’m locked in an epic battle… it’s called Chaos versus Order. I’ve come to believe that everyone (to some degree, hopefully a lesser degree than me) is also locked in this same battle. Some have better weapons to fight the good fight and help Order win. Some (like me) are more inclined to be a Catalytic Agent of Chaos (CAoC).
Why would I say that? Have you seen my office? No? Well, take my word for it. It’s a disaster area. Papers scattered everywhere. To the degree that it’s reached a Saturation Point of Chaos, where the only thing that can happen next in that room is… Order. A concept that I’m about to wax philosophical on.
Okay, so you’ve glanced at the pic at the top of the blog. It’s a little something I whipped up to visually represent how I view my microcosm-universe. A universe that has a set boundary and can be considered a closed system. I want it to be a closed system (and that’s really, really, REALLY want it to be closed), because it makes it sooooo much easier to apply the Law of Conservation of Energy. You know this one… where in a closed system, energy (matter) can neither be created nor destroyed. It can be transformed, transmuted, shared, borrowed, swapped out, switched, buried at the bottom of a clothes hamper, or under a mound of papers on my desk. (Or recycled… yeah, can’t forget recycled.)
Now before we get too deep into any crazy psychobabble-E-goodness, I have to tell you that in a closed system, Chaos and Order have a special relationship. They always balance each other. So if your house is 40% Chaos, then it must be 60% Order. (Or in my case at this very moment, 75% Chaos v 25% Order–yeah, sucks to be me right now.) The ideal ratio between Chaos and Order is a fluctuation close to or around 50-50, or equilibrium. The why is that when things are perfectly balanced… stagnation can occur. When the scale is slightly tipped into Chaos land… you’re learning; slightly tipped into Order land… you’ve learned and might be ready for a change. (This is a concept I’ll delve more into in a later World Domination blog post, but for now… stop beating yourself up over the way the living room looks for a few minutes and look at it from an energy perspective–then pat yourself on the back for supporting the Universe and it’s Law of Conservation of Energy.)
So why would I want this model to be created? Why do I need to have a closed system? What’s the point of this blog post?
It’s simple, really. I want to dominate my world. I need to dominate my world. If I ever have any hope of being a productive member of society (or an anti-social society, which I think is a double negative, but what the heck, I’m going with it), then I have to get my butt in gear.
The second reason I’m ranting about this at the blog is and has everything to do with me being an idiot and teaching others how to dominate their world (aka, my whacked version of life coaching) while not tending to my own. Look, I love y’all to pieces, but in order to achieve my goals I have to establish some boundaries. And because I’m a nice person (moohahahaha, yes Ma, those acting lessons paid off, we’ve got ’em all fooled!) I’ve decided to use my blog as a home for World Domination Wednesdays where I post thinking points on my theories and methods o’ madness. Which brings me to the first lesson of the day…
Ever heard the saying… She’s got too much on her plate? Yeah, well, that describes me. There’s only so much you can put onto one paper plate (hey it’s been a while since I was able to splurge for some Chinet) before it disintegrates. In theory and metaphor, this sounds like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised just what sort of things people pile onto their plate every single day of their life.
Take me for instance. I’m a worrier. I hate worrying. I’ve had to create a boundary, a rule (and repeat it I don’t know HOW MANY times to friends and family), do NOT tell me scary true life stories. Why? Because I worry about them. It’s the type of person I am. You can tell me funny stuff all day long, but scary stuff… go tell someone else. If that friend/person breaks that rule more than three times… sorry, but you’re off my phone screening pick-up list. That sounds harsh (yes, I know and in a way that I’m way too busy to explain I’m sorry it has to be this way), but I simply had to set up a boundary against things that can stop me in my tracks.
Next example, using me as a guinea pig… in some perverse twist of Fate, I developed a fetish with helping people. Oh yeah, it started out all sweet and innocent like, but damned if it didn’t subtly take over my life. To the point that I was spending more time on other peoples’ universe than mine. That’s bad. Bad in so many ways that I fully expect an airline attendant to show up and give me that speech about putting my gas mask on first BEFORE I help my neighbor. (You’d think considering how much travelling I’ve done in the past few years that I’d have that point firmly planted in my modus operandi. Ah well, live and learn, baby, live and learn.)
How do I set boundaries? It’s easy (lol, I said easy). Figure out what is important and then categorize things into… what I need, what I can’t live without, and what I don’t want to live without. Underneath each of those headings I look at responsibilities, expectations (both mine and others), and energy (time) requirements. If there are things I can contract out (please let it be mowing the lawn and scrubbing toilets and vacuuming and…), then I notate them as such. The goal of the whole exercise is to pare down what items absolutely MUST be on my paper plate of sanity–so you can establish your base parameters of your bare-bones essential Boundaries to Your Universe.
Sounds simple enough, right? Hey, you’ve probably done this sort of activity a dozen or so times since puberty and (if you’re like me) it never lasted for very long. For me the reason it didn’t last long at all had everything to do with not understanding the consequences of bringing something into my universe.
Look, I hate to break it to you, but each time you bring something into your universe and slap it onto your paper plate of sanity… you’re tempting Fate and inviting in a potential agent of Chaos. And to change Chaos into Order you have to do… Work. So if you’re plate was already full of maintenance work to keep your original bare-bones universe neat, orderly, and organized to the Nth degree, then (unless you contract more things out) well, brace yourself and say hello to Chaos Land. Because that’s exactly where you’ll slide into if you don’t have enough energy to do the work necessary to keep Order… in its place.
Oh yeah and before I forget… Work and Time have a sick, twisted relationship. Work takes Time. If you don’t have Time to do the Work… then you might as well pack it up and say Goodnight, Gracie. Again, that’s another topic I’ll touch on more in a later blog. But it’s a good thing to be aware of when establishing boundaries for the first round.
See me checking my notes to make sure I hit the high points for today’s psychobabble-E-thon.
#1: Personal Universes are served up on a paper plate (of sanity). Is your paper plate strong enough to endure 20 years worth of daily trips to the buffet of life?
#2: Setting boundaries establishes a closed system that enables an individual to manage the Chaos and Order in their life.
#3: In a closed system (aka, personal universe that’s served up on a paper plate), energy balance can look like this: % Chaos + % Order = 100%
#4: Work is required to shift Chaos back to Order.
#5: Work and Time have a sick, twisted relationship. No Time for Work? Say hello to Chaos Land.
#6: World Domination blog posts are not designed to tell you what specific items to include on your paper plate, but rather to describe the tools and perspectives on how I help others. And honestly, it’s all about understanding the ebb and flow of energy to your personal universe and back out into the world around you–and being aware of it.
For next Wednesday’s World Domination (WD) post, I’m delving into the philosophy surrounding the Law of Attraction, how it affects your personal universe, and what it means to be purposefully aligned (think here: aligned in body, mind, and spirit) and fully realized in the moment (present)–as I typed that line my assistant told me there’s a prize associated with that blog post.
Info on the prize and how to win it will be posted on my Friday Facebook post in the Notes section–where more Postcards from the Brink of Chaos will be located. Here’s the link: http://www.facebook.com/ElijanaKindel.
I hope you enjoyed today’s post and it made you think some about your own universe! I wish each and every one of you the best of luck setting boundaries and building your very own closed system. Until next time…