Welcome back to Prepping for Success in 2018-Part 3 where we’ll be discussing how to get yourself aligned with what you want to achieve in 2018.
This part of the series is driving me crazy. Because I know what I want to share with you, but I can’t flipping find the right words. I’m serious. This is the fourth rewrite I’ve done on Part 3. And every durn one of them is good with the content that’s on there, but my Inner Cave Girl is going nuts because I didn’t 100% download to you exactly what I MEAN when I say Get Aligned with what you really want in 2018.
So I’m throwing out everything I’ve written and letting my Inner Cave Girl dictate this one without my modern (thinking) brain getting in the way and mucking things up with tangental logic. Wish me luck and prepare to be inundated with typos.
What does Aligned mean?
For me, it’s about getting your head on straight to know what you want, why you want it, and how to get what you want when you want it.
How does a person get Aligned with what they want?
By being honest and clear with themselves. By being open minded and listening more than talking. By finding the one thing we all need to know but struggle to find… our WHY.
Now for… what I mean when I say WHY.
WHY is all about purpose. It’s the reason you do what you do. The motivating factor–the driver–behind every decision and action you’ve ever made then done.
It’s the reason why you surfed Facebook rather than cleaned house. Or wrote a new story. Or did whatever you should have been doing.
Today, I read a book instead of washed the dishes. Why did I do that?
Because education and logic are important to me.
Okaaaay, I’ll buy that (because my modern brain knows me) but I won’t buy that reading THAT PARTICULAR BOOK was all about education and logic.
Because it was smut. More than that, it was a 1st person, insta-luv, no plot, fuck fest that held no educational value–other than to test the laws of physics and endurance.
WRONG. I read that book because I wanted to see what types of stories are trending high on Amazon rankings. I wanted to know what the heck was so special about that book that tons of people spent their hard earned money on to buy.
pfft–whatever. You’re a dirty minded girl who put the needs of your dirty ahead of your family. Shame on you.
Oh hell no, I did NOT just SHAME myself for doing something I believe in.
Except I did, felt like crap for all of ten (wasted) minutes until I realized WTF I was doing and faced the truth–that I’d fallen into one of the stupidest traps known to the modern world.
Or letting my upbringing dictate my behavior.
Or letting old habits (learned behaviors) get in the way of new experiences.
This kind of stupid happens to me ALL the freaking time. And I mean ALL THE FREAKING TIME.
Don’t believe me, then consider… what do you think happens when I–a person who was told all her life was born to be a scientist–suddenly decides that writing romance is her passion and the career she truly wants?
I’ll tell you what happens. People freak out and start trying to convince me that what I want is wrong. That I’m wrong and clueless. That I’d be throwing my life away and that writing romance is the worst possible thing I could ever do.
Now, let’s make it worse… what do you think happens when I announce that I not only want to write, but I want to write as a self published, independent author?
Oh dear lord, save me now.
The Floodgates of Fear open up.
Not just my fear, but the fear from every damn person I have ever discussed this with freaking pops up in my internal dialogue with myself to freaking derail me from my want, my desire.
And it freaking sucks. Because fear is NOT logical. It’s a freaking weapon that gets used by our worst enemies (ourselves) in times of stress and change to force us to NOT do what we perceive to be the worst possible thing for us to ever do.
Yet, I still pursue my indie publishing career. I still pursue writing as a career. I still walk towards it. I still experience fear. Just like… I still read the freaking book. I still sat there and read that smut instead of washing the dishes. I still went against what was instilled in me as ” right and wrong” and read a book that was apparently (according to every learned behavior I’ve ever learned) against my morals and beliefs.
So WHY did I really do it?
I did it for a purpose. For a very specific reason. A big reason. One that’s apparently more important to me that doing what everyone else “thinks” I should do.
I did it TO BE HAPPY.
I didn’t do it to make other people happy. I did it to make me, deep down inside–I did it to make me happy.
That’s lesson 1–the reason behind 99% of everything humans do is to make themselves feel HAPPY.
Me stating that is NOT to say that humans are selfish and only want things that will make them happy.
No, me stating that is all about driving home the the idea that your survival in this world is rooted in your very real need to be happy with what, who, and how you are.
- Your need to be happy is what pushes you to grow, change, and explore your world.
- Your need to be happy is what pushed you to FaceBook instead of write.
- Your need to be happy is what pushed you to watch that TV show instead of write.
- Your need to be happy is what pushed you to nap instead of write.
BUT there is a dark side to this BE HAPPY directive.
That dark side happens when what we want doesn’t match what we say we want.
I want to write more books to grow my career, but feel I should build a website and blog.
To get out of that what I want doesn’t match what I should want we have to get aligned. To get our ancient and modern brain on the same page and directed towards the actual thing that will make us BE HAPPY.
To do that, we need clarity. The kind of clarity that comes from stopping and thinking through what this thing you want means to you.
Not what it means to you in this moment, but what it means to you from a purpose for being kind of perspective. It’s your WHY.
And it’s hard as hell to uncover on your own. Yes, it possible, but damned hard to nail down on your own.
But I’m telling you–from experience that once you uncover it… oh. my. god–it is more powerful than anything you can ever imagine.
So now, let’s look at how to uncover it then use it to get yourself aligned to build your plan for success.
- Take a minute and think about what you want to achieve this year. Don’t get lost in the details. Just focus on the idea of what you want to achieve by December 31, 2018. Let the feeling naturally bubble up inside you. Ignore any negative self talk for how that idea isn’t achievable–instead focus on what you want.
- Got that idea firmly grasped in your mind? Got that feeling of “this is what I want” happy swirling around inside of you? Good, now just enjoy it. Immerse yourself in the moment and simple feel what it means to you. How it feels like something you want. Like something that is right and perfect for you. Like something that will make you extremely happy.
- Now write it down. State it out loud if you have to, but write it down. Or type it. Don’t care how you do it, but document that idea you want to achieve by December 31, 2018.
Struggling to do that? Does it feel you know what you mean to say but it’s not coming out onto the page exactly as you mean it?
No problem. That happens. Especially since to write that statement it requires documenting a specific WHAT that we can see and touch then wrapping it up with a seeing and touching (tangible) HOW and a WHY that’s based in the kinesthetic feeling language.
To do this, we need a translator. To understand yourself.
And since no one understands you better than you… it’s up to you.
To interview yourself.
Don’t worry. There are no right or wrong answers to this interview. It’s not being graded. It’s a tool to get the dialogue started. So be honest and truthful with yourself as you brain dump the first things that come to mind as you read the questions.
Okay, ready? Great. Here are the rules for the interview:
Take the questions one at a time. Give yourself only a few minutes on each question to document it. Move on to the next question when you stall.
- Question #1: What do you want your writing career to look like on December 31, 2018?
- Question #2: What do you want your writing career to sound like on December 31, 2018?
- Question #3: What do you want your writing career to feel like on December 31, 2018?
- Question #4: Why do you want all those things (that you listed under each question) for your writing career by December 31, 2018?
Once you have your answers in hand, then meet me in the next post (Part 4) swhere I’ll show you how to use those answers to uncover your plan and get yourself fully aligned with what you want to achieve by December 31, 2018.